YOU SAID THAT ALREADY
4 Ways to "Dehoard" Your Script
Years ago, during the world premiere of my play Maytag Virgin, a nice gentleman walked up to me after the show and said, “I was confused there towards the end. I thought the next-to-last scene was the end of the play, but then there was another scene after that.” At the time, I chalked this up to a curious sound cue between the two scenes. And then a few weeks later, a critic chimed in and said perhaps there was some repetitiveness in that area of the script. I began to triangulate feedback and learned that I was somehow repeating myself…tonally: in scene 2.3 Jack talks about his late wife, Amy, and in 2.4, he again talks of Amy, however, this time, he’s conveying different information. My first thought was, “Well don’t we need all that?” But years of sitting with the play and really listening to the rhythm of those two scenes taught me that just because it’s new information to the audience, doesn’t mean their experience in hearing it “feels” any different.
Many revisions later, when I was preparing the script for publication, I combined the two scenes into one and scrubbed some of the tonally-adjacent language. Gone is the “lull” at the end of the play. It works so much better now.
So, what exactly do I mean by “tonally-adjacent?”
Notice how the below images all “feel” the same. They are interesting images. Each one is beautifully rendered, full of texture and atmosphere, each with its own backstory. But imagine each image as a separate scene/moment in your play. The first one is interesting, but by the second and third, it starts to feel like, “Haven’t we been here before?”
We love a vibe. But give it to us once, and make it count.
A play wants to go on a journey. And in our plays, the landscape is marked with emotionally distinct flavors, highs and lows. Despair, longing, mania, fear, arousal, elation. There’s also the challenge of exposition. How much do we share and when/how do we share it? In the early drafts, put it all out there on the page. But then it’s vital to take stock, get organized, and most importantly, let things go!
Stop caring about the play’s feelings. The play does not care about yours!
The only thing your play wants…is to work. It’s just like gardening: the more you weed and prune, the better your garden will grow. Don’t be a afraid to throw stuff out!
First things first. Take a look at my Playwright Vocabulary:
I’ve used a few of those terms below. It’s helpful to look at the beats in your story and be honest with yourself. Categorize/label each beat in a way that makes sense to you.
Now try…
1. Defragmenting
Look for ways to join similar areas of exposition, tone, and sentiment, combining scenes whenever possible. Example: If Kathy is talking about how much she misses her mother in scene one and then again in scene five, let’s label those “mom” and then think about distilling them and/or combining them into one moment. Remember, just because two moments convey different information, that doesn’t mean they feel any different (tonally) to the audience. Distill!
2. Cloaking
Sometimes a monologue really wants to be dialogue. A back and forth helps the scene move along and provides an opportunity for counterpoint and conflict.
3. Peppering / Fruit-Flying
Break up monotony by spreading things out. Example: If Tom is writing a funny letter to the sanitation department, instead of giving us the letter all it once, think about breaking it up, peppering it throughout the play as a recurring “bit.” Audiences LOVE a recurring bit.
4. Tensioning
Cut and paste a low-energy moment into a high energy moment to create torque, friction, and even humor. Example: If a character is at odds with another character over something trivial (e.g., “you NEVER put your socks in the hamper”), instead of having them argue fully right then and there, WEAPONIZE it later in the play during the dramatic rise. This is also a great way to add suspense.
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Audrey Cefaly's plays (Alabaster, Maytag Virgin, The Gulf, The Last Wide Open, Trouble) have garnered the Lammy Award, the Calicchio Prize, the NNPN Goldman Prize, the Edgerton, and a Pulitzer nomination. Her works have been produced at Signature Theatre, Cincinnati Playhouse, Barter Theatre, Merrimack Rep, Florida Studio, Florida Rep, Gulfshore Playhouse, and countless others. Cefaly is a Dramatist Guild Foundation "Traveling Master," an Arena Stage playwright cohort, and a recipient of the Walter E. Dakin Fellowship from the Sewanee Writers Conference. She is published by Concord Theatricals, Applause Books, Smith & Kraus and TRW
Thanks for reading How To Playwright!
This is exactly what I need to hear as I rework the repetitive bits at the end of my latest play - THANK YOU! I love your vocabulary and have used it for years. Everyone should read this if they are writing for the stage!!!